Thanks for stopping by!! I am a fun, compassionate, motivated woman who enjoys every minute of life that I can. My friends and others tell me I'm a walking encyclopedia, in other words I'm articulate and wise beyond my age. I'm also classified as dependable and optomistic.Optimism isn't the refuge of bubbleheads; it's a scientifically proven way to get happier, healthier and even catnippier to the opposite sex.Recent research suggests an optimistic state comes from a series of active inner processes, psychological somersaults. That's good news because it means that optimism�like other skills such as putting on eyeliner or hitting a tennis ball�is something we can improve with practice.1. Play interpersonal Ping-Pong.If you serve up a smile to people, they usually bounce it back. Hit them with a snarl and watch them scowl instead.Research shows that facial expressions and the moods that accompany them are contagious, probably because they evolved as a means of nonverbal communication between people. You can use the infectious effects of a grin to jump-start an optimistic outlook in yourself by sending others what you want them to lob back at you. A kind word to the man behind the deli counter can get your day bouncing in the right direction.2. Short-circuit pessimism.There's another reason for putting on a happy face: it influences your brain in a positive way.In one study, subjects who were asked to hold a pen in their mouth (causing them to inadvertently make the facial muscle movements characteristic of a smile) rated cartoons to be funnier than did other subjects, even though they were unaware that it was the smile that was boosting their reaction.There's an interesting biological reason for this effect: When you feel down, your brain tells your face you're sad and your facial muscles respond by putting on a depressed expression�and convey back to the brain that, yes, you're feeling blue. Consciously changing the facial muscles so they don't correspond to what you're feeling is a way of sending a different message: "Hey, it's not so bad down here after all." The brain will respond by beginning to change your mood accordingly.3. Explain success and failure like an optimist.Research shows that it's not what happens that determines your mood but how you explain what happens that counts. If an optimist encounters a computer program she can't figure out, she's likely to say, "Either the manual is unclear, or this program is hard, or maybe I'm having an off day." The optimist keeps the failure outside herself ("the manual"), specific ("this program") and temporary ("an off day"), while the pessimist would make it internal, global and permanent. When success occurs optimists say, "Of course dinner turned out; I'm a good cook," while pessimists say, "Boy, was I lucky today," literally snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. If you start to speak to yourself in a more positive way when you succeed and fail, you'll gradually become more optimistic.4. Stack the deck in your favor.It's easy to be envious: Compare yourself to those with thinner thighs and fatter bank accounts and you'll always come up wanting�and pessimistic. But the corollary is also true: No matter how bad things get, there's always someone who's worse off.In one simple study, subjects were randomly divided into two subgroups. One group was to finish the sentence "I wish I were a ___." The other was asked to complete the sentence "I'm glad I'm not a ___." When individuals rated their sense of satisfaction with their lives before and after this task, those who completed the "I'm glad I'm not a ___" sentence were significantly more satisfied than before.5. Learn to shift your focus.Pessimists can't stop depressing facts or negative thoughts from poking into their consciousness, but they can choose not to dwell on them.If you look through a camera lens, you'll find that when one part of the picture is in focus, the other areas blur a bit. (This is a distortion, sure, but sometimes we need to sustain the idea of being in a protective bubble to feel optimistic.) This active self-direction of your own moment-to-moment perspective allows you to create a new life story, one in which you take charge of your emotions and actions. Since research shows that those who feel they have a better sense of control tend to be the most optimistic, why not take charge of where your psychological lens is focused? Relax Your Mind.Take the time to talk to someone who cares about you. Express feelings you might have been holding in. We often feel that we don't want to burden people with how we feel, but in fact, it makes most people feel good to be able to listen.Use the strategies you developed here to talk yourself through your day in balanced way. You would cheer someone else on if you knew they were feeling stressed. Why not be your own cheerleader?Do something that will make you laugh. Watch a funny movie, read a funny book or spend time with a funny friend.Crying can be a good release of tension. If you haven't cried in awhile, try listening to a sad song, watching a sad movie or even writing about a sad experience.Originally from the Northeast, I now find myself new to the West Coast: Driven by the ambition and work ethic of the Northeast corridor, molded in the toughness of the Texas plains, and refined by the etiquette of Southern hospitality, I try to improve with every place I travel. I am as comfortable with a nice book in my hands on a rainy day as I am going out to the movies or a club, cooking dinner for a special someone or getting dressed up for an evening on the town. I try to be creative, experience new adventures and have always liked playing/watching outdoor sports, hitting the gym, taking long walks, listening to music, reading and surprising those I love. Family is important to me and I hope you can be too.BBW to me is a woman who has beauty beyond words :). I feel that a person who can captivate you with more than just their looks is someone who signifies the true essence of beauty.I live alone...within myself,like a hut within the woods.I keep my heart high upon the shelf,barren of other goods.I need another's arms to reach for it...and place it where it belongs.I need another's touch...and smile...to fill my hut with songs.The smell of pine lingers in the morning dew.The crack of the ice as the sun breaks through.The rustle of the wild winter leaves.The spiders busy building their perfect weaves.The aftertaste of a dark and musty wine.The warmth of your body next to mine.Lately my days and nights consist of reading and keeping fit. I feel that one should constantly strive to be better physically and mentally (Myself, anyway). Not in the sense of narcissism or pride, But to take advantage of what you have been given and use it to the best of your ability. I've tried to describe this while avoiding the "be all that you can be" mentality ;). Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. When you're in creation of making something of yourself, you shouldn't judge it by what other people say. Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand. A few observation and much reasoning lead to error; many observations and a little reasoning to truth. Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. The idea of being complete stirs emotions in a woman/man that are as powerful as the Hiroshima bomb. Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?I like substance, intelligence, someone I can talk to. I think women can be as cruel as men, and men as tender as women, and vice versa. I'm easy to get along with although I don't play games nor do I put up with them. I'm more interested in giving people a little bit of hope and goodness. I'm not the type of person that will change myself to meet someone else's standards and I don't expect anyone to change who they are for me. I don't ask for much. I'm somewhat shy when I first meet someone new but when I do open up be prepared for someone who loves to joke aro